When One Door Closes

So, life, yeah, that's about all I have to say about that.

I'm to the point in my life where it is time to start making big decisions. It's hard and I definitely don't like it at all.

However, as the saying goes, when one door closes another one opens. And how true that is.

Things have been changing rapidly in my life and every time I think it's a bad change, I am quickly reminded that it will all be ok because something else wonderful happens.

So in lieu of all that, here's the song that sums it up these feelings.

And it's alright, alright
I got shoes under my feet
Forever in the eyes staring back at me
And it's alright, alright
Yeah, I got all I need
And it's alright by me

From: http://www.musicbabylon.com

~alright...darius rucker

Hearbreak

Lets just say that loving someone is one the greatest things this life has. But with love comes heartbreak. And I don't care who you are, or what cheesy line you come up with to get you through the crap, heartbreak sucks. No matter if it was mutual or one-sided, losing someone you care about is awful.

So I'm just going to fill this blog with cheesy songs and quotes because right now it make everything better.

"what is heartbreak? Heartbreak is lying on the bathroom floor, trying your damn hardest to breathe while at the same time wondering why it all went wrong and how you're gonna get up and pretend like everything is all right, and what the hell are you gonna do about that hole in your chest? Yeah, that's heartbreak."

"feels like you always comin on home

pockets full of nothing and you got no cash

no matter where you turn you ain't got no place to stand

reach out for something and they slap your hand

now I remember what it feels to be all alone

You feel like you'd give anything

for just a little place you can call your own

that's when you need someone, someone that you can call

and when your faith is gone

feels like you can't go on

let it be me, let it be me

if it's a friend you need

let it be me."

~let it be me....ray lamontagne

"Well since my baby left me,

I've found a new place to dwell

It's down on the end of Lonely Street at Heartbreak Hotel"

~heartbreak hotel....elvis

"the truth is that I miss lyin in those arms of his

But I don't ever let it show

I laugh and I act like I'm having the time of my life

as far as he knows

It's easy goin out on Friday night

Easy, every time I see him out

I can smile, live it up

The way a single girl does

But, what he, what he don't know

Is how hard it is to make it look so easy.

Oh, it's easy."

~easy....rascal flatts

Belief

Hands down, this past summer was the best summer of my life. i made new friends and grew closer to old ones. learned about myself and found my strength. overcame past trails and began to see what i want in life. realized i have a lot to offer this world and realized that its ok to let others into my life. but i truly learned to let go and forgive not only others but myself.

life can be hard, but in the end its all worth it knowing that just one person cares about you. when life gets tough, nothing is better than knowing that there is someone who is there for you, accepting you no matter your past, and loving you no matter what. i'm so grateful that i have someone in my life like that. you know who you are, and i can't thank you enough. i love you.

"i think and think and think. I've thought myself out of happiness one million times but never once into it."

~jonathan safran foer

"Belief, makes things real.
Makes things feel, feel alright.
Belief, makes things true.
Things like you, you and I."

~belief...gavin degraw

This

Sometimes, life sucks. People let you down, work lets you down, you let yourself down. At least that's the way my life has seemed lately. Nothing ever seems to be just quiet what I expected. However, Heavenly Father has a great way of letting me know that things will be okay. With all the tender mercies, the little happy things in life, I know that I will be just fine. It's all about having an eternal perspective, and with that, I am grateful for everything that has been thrown at me this last week because in the long run, it will lead me to something greater.

For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to This

~darius rucker "this"

All Summer Long

Fresh cut grass, lightning bugs, family, friends, summer camp, hanging out, Soulard, The Purse Place. That is what summer is all about. I'm finally home and life just feels happy. However, I feel as if this is the ending of an era. Next year I will start teaching full time at Sunset View Elementary in Provo. No more classes, homework, tests, or things like that. Instead there will be grading, assigning homework, going to school, and worrying about my students. It's time to grow up, and sometimes I just don't feel ready.

But until its time to start teaching the kiddos, I'm going to have a summer of epicness. Day camp starts soon and I can already tell it's going to be a blast. One day, this will all be in the past but for now it is time to be a kid for just a bit longer. Planning camps, staying up all night, and not having too many cares.

Now nothing seems as strange as

When the leaves began to change

Or how we thought those days would never end

Sometimes I hear that song and I'll start to sing along

And think, man, I'd love to see that girl again

And we were trying different things and we were smoking funny things

Making love out by the lake to our favorite song

Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinkin' about tomorrow

Singing 'Sweet Home Alabama' all summer long

~ "all summer long" kid rock

Smile

When life hands me lemons, I generally squirt them in my eye while trying to make that stupid lemonade.

Lately I have felt like I take a few steps forward just to get shoved back and knocked on my rear. All semester I have been on top of my schoolwork and getting everything done and now that I am in the schools I just don't have the time in my day to write a lesson, get materials for it, and reflect on the previous days lesson all in one day. There just isn't enough time for anything.

Then there is a social life. That is a whole other story for a different day. Lets just say that right now, things are a bit frustrating. I am awkward about things and I don't know how to change that. So for now I am just going to have to be alright with what is going on. I'm tired of people telling me what to do and when to do it. I just wish that sometimes people would let me live life the way I choose. I know I make mistakes, like big dumb mistakes, but thats how I learn. I'm up for advice all the time but don't live your life through mine. I'm tired of all the "you should do this" and "you should do that" crap. Just let me be.

So for now, I'm going to cut the crap and ignore the crap. I am going to watch the advice that I give others so as to not seem like a hypocrite. And I'm just going to smile.

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through for you

If you just smile

~nat king cole "smile"

The challenge...

It's time. Stephanie and I have decided to do a challenge. Inspire by a recent facebook status that reads as follows.

"I was walking behind 4/5 boys in the hall. #1: A point to whoever slides down the hall like a penguin. #2: A challenge point??? #1: Yes. #2 ran and flopped onto his belly to slide down the hall like a penguin. Then #3 followed suit."

Therefore, Stephanie, Audrey, Marjorie, McKensey, and myself have decided to take on a similar idea of challenge points. For the next few weeks, we will be giving each other particular challenges that one must accept or deny. Upon completing the challenge, a point will be awarded. The first to earn 5 challenge points will receive a Maceys ice cream cone. The first to 10 will win a treat of their choice (homemade or store bought).

So, here's to living life a bit and learning to take challenges. The hard part is going to be coming up with the challenges for others but whatever. It's going to rock. Hopefully, we are all brave enough to accept the challenges. Any ideas for challenges would be greatly appreciated.

So here is a little ditty to help get us through the challenges :)

"Back off, I'll take you on,

Headstrong to take on anyone.

I know that you are wrong

Headstrong, we're headstrong"

~"headstrong", trapt

Some days you gotta dance

In case you didn't know, I'm a planner. I plan EVERYTHING. I get assignments done super early, I am not big on procrastination because it causes to stress and get really grumpy, and I just really like to know what is going to happen in life. It's not a patience issue, I mean I know that I can become impatient about some things, but hey, don't we all? I think what is all boils down to is my fear of the unknown or something like that.

Anyways, as a current goal for myself, I am trying to not be so structured, to live a little, and just go with the flow of spontaneity. It's not easy let me tell you that. I have been at this for about a week now and I suck at this. I have some strange addiction to needing to know what is going to happen so that I can plan my day accordingly. Mostly because I have so much frickin crap to do, 20 credit hours, work hours, and on top of all that I am now teaching in the schools and needing to write lesson plans and such (don't get me wrong, I LOVE teaching and writing lessons and figuring out what the students need to know and fun ways to help them learn, but its a whole heck of a lot of work).

Back to the goal, I guess I am going to try this whole idea of letting loose again. I don't know when this happened, I see myself as a pretty chill person, but lately I just can't seem to relax and do nothing. I've just gotta learn to loosen up and dance.

"Some days you gotta dance

Live it up when you get the chance

'Cause when the world doesn't make no sense

And you're feeling just a little too tense

Gotta loosen up those chains and dance"

~"some days you gotta dance" the dixie chicks

(I do not agree with everything that The Dixie Chicks have done, but I have to agree with what this song is saying)

So here's to the next week in hopes that I can loosen up, stay chill, practice patience, ignore the little things that cause frustration, and just live life without stress and worry.

Isn't it obvious?

So clearly, girls just aren't obvious enough for boys to pick up on their little subtle hints. I mean, if a girl likes a boy, she texts him, hangs out with him and their friends, suggests that just the two of them should go and do things together. However, boys are just too dense. I mean, come on, those hints and they way we look at you should be enough for you to know what we are interested. When we text you and ask you what you are doing, that generally means we want to do something with you. When we sit next to you and lean in and leave our hand sitting on our leg, that generally means we want you to hold our hand. Isn't it obvious?

"if holding hands is too discrete

let's make out in the middle of the street

If this flowery just ain't enough for you

Help me God, tell me what to do

Couldn't be more true

Isn't it obvious that I love you?"

~erik hassle "isn't it obvious"

All in all, this needs to be a two way street. Us girls need to know what to do to let you fellas see what we are thinking and feeling and boys, step it up, be a man and do something about it. And please don't suggest that we just need to talk about it, DTR, that really stands for destroy the relationship not determine. It generally makes things awkward, there can be a time and place for such a thing but thats a rarity.

So boys, tell me, now is your chance, what do you want a girl to do when she is interested? It's not that easy to just come out and tell you what we are thinking and feeling, you should understand, it's not that often that you ask a girl on a date. It's that whole fear of rejection idea (cop out answer, but still, it's the truth). Girls as a whole need to know the answer to this unsolved question, what can we do to let the boy know we are interested? We apparently are not obvious enough and need to step up our game.

Sing it

Wow, I can't believe I have caved and created a blog. But hey, it is, what it is.

"If a bird can sing with a broken wing

You'll learn to bend when the wind blows

The leaves may fall, but the trees stay tall

This is a bump in the road

Don't give up, you will make it."

~erik hassle, "bump in the road"

Coming up with a blog title/theme is always a difficult task. I don't know how people just seem to come up with it without a problem. There are no many cute a creative titles, how do you pick the one that is just right for you? I guess it just kind of comes to you. Music is what I love, artists just always seem to know how to say something when I can't quite put my thoughts into words. Thats just the underlying theme to this blog, I guess, the title is a song, and I have a feeling song lyrics and such will be filling up the majority of my blog posts.

As overstated as it may be, life sure does know how to throw curve-balls at you when you are least expecting it. These "things" are both good and bad. It's what makes life what it is. It's the little good things in life that make it easier to get through the hard stuff. Fortunately, and unfortunately, its generally the friends in life that make things good and bad. But hey, if it weren't for friends, there wouldn't be any positives in life. Erik Hassle got it right when he sang "you'll learn to bend when the wind blows." It's a give or take, just a bump in the road, sometimes i think we all just need to grow up, put on our big girl panties and deal with it. Something good will come along, its all about patience, and when that something does come along, be grateful and make it last, it's something I have learned the hard way.